I gave birth nine months ago! I won't say that the time flew by.. Because I'm a Stay At Home Mom and some days my day draaaaaaags on… But I will say that the memories of those first few weeks are getting fuzzy so I decided I had better write them down.
Since I was 18 my Doctors have told me that carrying a child was going to be difficult. Since I was 23, they told me to hang it up.
So I became a career driven woman with no time for relationships or sitting in one place. (Hence the two failed marriages..)
In that time frame I had several positive pregnancy tests. They all ended the same. A lot of physical and emotional pain.
I buried my strong feelings of wanting a son of my own down so deep inside that children became a sickening obsession for me. I hated them. I loved to hate them. Everything about kids turned me off because I knew that I would never get the joy of holding my own.
This feeling held true until July 12, 2013. This is the day the Nurse told my excited husband that he was going to have a son. At 15 weeks pregnant, I was finally allowed to feel like this one was going to actually make it 40 weeks.
And I wept.
I had been on rest since about 12 weeks, so I had an abundance of time on my hands. I searched the web and YouTube for all things pregnancy. I learned as much as I could about pregnancy and Breastfeeding.I was determined to get the full experience of this one shot that I was given!
Which meant that I created a Birth Plan. I copied and pasted tons of online plans together, then added and subtracted until I had one right for me :)I totally wish I had it to share with you. It was out there…
The old cliché Be prepared to throw your Birth Plan out the window… Is true.
I PLANNED for a seamless natural birth. No drugs. No induction. No cesarean.
Then I hit 37 weeks. The contractions started as BH and they were constant. By 38 I was begging my Dr to remove him!!!
Kenny was due Christmas day 2013. I was induced the morning of the 20th.
When I arrived at the hospital I was (Still) only 2 centimeters but my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart.We got there on time.. 5:30 am. We had to sit in the hallway for over an hour waiting for a room!!!
I wasn't aware that the Christmas holiday brought so many babies!!!
I stood in that hallway scared out of my mind.. A whole hour. My bags at my feet. My husband and daughter sleepily trying to get comfortable in the hard chairs they had set out for us.
I stood in that hallway knowing that the next time I passed through those doors I would be a mother.
Then they called my name.
Oh, they weren't ready for me yet! Oh no. Then we got to go sit in the nurses station for 30 minutes while they finalized my papers. (Something I had done on line… ggrrrr)
Next thing I knew, I was being led into my room.
I had dressed up for the occasion. I had my favorite red silky maternity shirt on, paired with my long black pants. I had my makeup just so, and my hair was clean and out of my face.
The nurse handed me a gown and things got real.
As I shut myself into the bathroom and removed my clothing the events that were about to unfold weighed heavily.
I stripped down to nothing and slid my arms into the gown sleeves. I did my best to close up the back while gathering my clothes into a ball. I walked out of the bathroom and tossed my clothes and shoes into my hospital bag.
I walked towards the bed.
Passing my husband who was already working on trying to get the guest wifi set up on his iPad. My daughter was doing the same. They were settling in for what should be a long day.
My stomach growled.
I climbed into the huge bed and wondered how long something like this actually takes? I had planned for about four hours. That oughta do it. Four hours, no meds, three pushes and we'll be out of here.The nurses came in and took all my vitals and hooked me up to see how we were doing. That's when she realized I was already in labor. (Something I told them when I got there AT FIVE THIRTY.)
I was two centimeters.
I had decided that I was going to have to laugh through this ordeal, or I wouldn't make it.So we joked and the nurses seemed glad that we were all in great spirits.
I figure, make your nurse laugh and you make a friend.. Make her mad and you're never getting your happy pills…
The Dr finally made her way into my room, apologizing the whole time because there were so many people here today. The hospital has seven rooms.. And over 13 babies that morning.
(Guess those babies didn't read the birth plan.)
We decided to move things along with a water breakage and Pitocin.
Ok. At this point in a pregnant woman's mind.. She's fairly certain she knows what a contraction feels like.You're like.. Ppsshhtt, I've done this for 10 months. I'm good to go.
Then you have one real contraction.
Drugs please.I think I didn't make it all the way through that first one and I had threatened Ken's life.
He left the room to go sign me up on that I Need To Have My Wife Medicated Please list.
Because the Anesthesiologist was so busy that day, I had to wait my turn.
I begged for drugs for hours.
Finally the nurse came and said she was going to give me something in my IV.. It wasn't going to do a whole lot for the pain, but I wasn't going to care about it anymore…She was right.
There's a video somewhere of me telling Ken that I KNOW the pink elephants aren't real.. But they were so cool.
I was high as a kite, and didn't worry about the pain.
That only lasted an hour or so.
I was ready for my Epi.
Took forever for that lovely man to arrive.
He was an angel.
Until I found out that in order for him to work, I had to roll up into a ball and let him get at my back. While having contractions. Ugh.As I'm trying to roll, my best friend walks in.
She sees me hanging off the bed with what looks like a little nurse either pushing me off or trying hard to hold me up.. And a man in a white coat at my back.. Probably looking like he's pushing too.
She's asking what she can do to help.. I'm yelling NOTHING…
Nurse is smiling speaking calmly explaining that we need to focus.. That's a large needle..
I'm yelling.. Friend is scared and ready to break all these people's faces for them to stop hurting me…
Ken and Kennedy walk back into the room… They had gone to get lunch and returned in the middle of all this mess!
Anesthesiologist finally speaks for the first time. "Everybody out."
The room cleared.
I didn't feel anything after that.Got settled back into bed.
I was three centimeters.
In limped the family and bff. Timidly asking if they could come in!We spent the next couple hours watching the contractions on the screen and waiting.
Best Friend went off to work. (Must have been 9-10ish at this time. Work starts at 9)
Ken and Kennedy were so bored. Video games and YouTube had gotten old.
As the morning turned into afternoon.. I became anxious.
It didn't dawn on me at the time, but I had started to push.
The Nurse came in and asked how we were doing. It was about 1:30pm.
She watched the contractions and decided to check how I was progressing. Because I didn't notice I was even pushing, I didn't tell her.
She got all up in there and her smile faded.
She stayed in there a while.
As she took her hand out and removed her glove her smile was gone.
"Well, we're fully dilated! But I want to have a second pair of eyes come on in and check you out."
Then she proceeded to explain that she could either feel his ear.. Or his rear. And if it was the rear, it was a problem.
Less than 30 seconds later another Nurse was all up in my junk… She felt pretty confident that it was a rear they were feeling.. But they needed an ultrasound to be sure.
Only there were none available.
And time was of the essence.
That's when they remembered they had been gifted a hand-me-down, old school, garbage US machine.. They just had to dig it up.
This thing looked like it was from the 70's.
The picture was so bad, and neither of them had ever worked with one this old.. They STILL couldn't tell what we were working with!
My Dr. stepped in and took one look at the screen. Yup. That head is much too far away from where it needs to be.She turned to me and said "We're cleaning you an operating room now.
The next few seconds were very scary. My husband was standing at my side looking into my eyes, trying to get my attention. He kept saying, this is ok. You're going to be ok.. This is nothing to worry about.. It will be over before you know it.
(He had been through one before and knew what to expect.)
I on the other hand, had not.
As the room filled with nurses, I watched one hand Ken The Gown to put on over his clothes. I don't remember much between that moment and the moment of them wheeling me out of the labor room towards the OR. I know I tried to joke with the Nurses and my Doctor, but inside I was shaking so badly I thought I would break bones.
We got to the OR doors and a Nurse told my husband that he had to wait here.What?? I had to go alone?
But I couldn't speak. I just watched them open the doors and wheel me in.
Once in they had to move me onto the table.
It felt like there were way too many people in the room.
They started fixing me up to give me a spinal, when a Nurse shouted out..
"Frances, What does Latex do to you?"
Was I hearing this right??
"Condoms.. What do condoms do to you?"
This voice was very rushed and scared me.
But all I could do was laugh and say "Clearly they don't!"
My Doctor looked at me and asked "Are you allergic to Latex?"
The room shut down.
Everyone knew I had a Latex allergy. It's on every piece of paper that has my name on it.Somehow this OR was not prepped for that allergy.
They had to shut it down and start over.
Ken says he's never seen anybody work so quickly as this crew did at that moment.
Before I knew it the Anesthesiologist assistant was at my head.
They had given me a spinal and I couldn't move.
I Couldn't Move.
I could see my arms. They were straight out. But I couldn't feel them.She smiled from behind her mask and said not to worry.. The feeling comes back.
Ken was all of a sudden at my side. It seemed he was very close to my face.
I couldn't think.
She calmly told me that I may feel some pressure here..
I had read that.Everything you read about c-sections say you feel tugging and pressure.
So I waited for it.
But I felt nothing.
I got worried.I asked "When will you be starting?"
It was at that moment that the Doctor popped her head over the blue curtain and showed me my son.
His eyes were wide open.
He didn’t cry. But I did.
They called Ken away from me to go watch them clean, measure and weigh him.
All of a sudden they were both at my side.
I lifted my hand..I thought I lifted my hand!
It actually just shifted then fell off the table!
Someone propped it back up for me while Ken placed Baby to my face so I could kiss him.
The Anesthesiologist Assistant offered to take a picture of us.Ken handed her the phone and as she tried to click a photo.. The Owner of his company called!!!
She was startled! Asked what to do!
Ken told her to please ignore that and take a picture!!!
Pictures shot, they were both whisked away from me and I was left alone with the bustling of Nurses and Crew.
I had read that the putting back together could take upwards to 30 minutes..So again I asked when they would be done.
But they were. I wasn't away from my family 20 minutes.
They wheeled me back to the Labor room, which was now my recovery room. Baby was there with a Nurse. Before I could hold him, she was going to clean him up.
This gave me time to calm down some.She offered to have Kennedy help her with his first bath :)
I watched while Kennedy aided a little and took pictures.
Then I was handed my son.